Perfect Date

Follow these tried-and-true steps to increasing the potential for romance no matter what you order off the menu — or have for dessert.
Text by Ronny Mo | June 7, 2018 | Lifestyle

First dates when you’re a guy are comparable to interviewing at a Fortune 500 company. She’s got the position you want, and you’re just looking for the right company. You’ve got a good pitch, but you barely know your audience. I’ve compiled some strategies (learned from previous misfortunes) that are surefire ways to help you close some business in the most common relationship marketplace: the dinner-date.
In the planning stages, I follow the motto of The Boy Scouts: “Be prepared.” Chances are you’re not meeting at Bubba’s Chicken & Bait Shack, so do yourself a favor and suit-up. A tailored suit and clean shoes says you’re a winner better than any Band of Horses-esque lumberjack shirts or rhinestone-embroidered jeans. As soon as you sit, scan the menu and featured beverages and nonchalantly flick a suggestion when you hear the inevitable, “So what’s good here?”
Once the first course arrives, and it’s time for the conversation to start flowing, keep in mind that your mother didn’t send you to Conan’s School For Wayward Barbarians. Talking with your mouth full is the fastest way to talk yourself out of moving on to the next round. Yeah, I know you’ve got a lot to say, but you don’t want to be interrupted by a constant drooly downstream of drinks and apps when you’re trying to build upstream momentum.
Of course, a lady looks for any reason to disqualify undeserving candidates and over-drinking can be underwhelming. Unless you’re sitting across from Tara Reid, ordering more than a bottle of wine or a couple of cocktails will get the wrong box checked. Another peeve is choosing your digital friends over your real date. Though that picture of a half-eaten burger enhanced by the “X-Pro II” filter might change the face of Instagram as we know it, it will also put a wrinkle in her forehead. Smartphones at the table are a dumb move. Let your lonely, sniffling buddies update everyone else’s feed with ab-selfies, you’re busy.
And surely, being distracted will detract from the overall mood. Imagine you’re a blinder-wearing Budweiser Clydesdale and remain focused on who’s in front of you. It doesn’t matter that the Marlins Mermaids are celebrating a bachelorette party in your eyesplash, stay the course. Once your journey has come to an end, take the check but drop the toothpicks. Excuse yourself and get that tenacious piece of spinach out in the restroom, Popeye.
As in business, the customer and ladies are always right. Just follow her lead, even if it contradicts your logic. She’ll let you know when you’ve nailed the interview with her body language and subliminal hints. Have something set up just in case like a gelato pit-stop or a nightcap nearby. Follow-up the next day with a brief thank you text to let her know you enjoyed her company, wait for the response and expect good news.