Objectionable Fashion

Top lawyers from various firms around town confidentially share fashion faux pas from the courtroom to the negotiation table that will make you scream: “I object.”
Text by Estrellita S. Sibila | May 24, 2018 | Fashion

Local Preference
“The first time I handled a municipal matter in Islamorada, I showed up in a stuffy navy suit and a light blue shirt with lapis cufflinks. I felt like a fish out of water when I was referred to as ‘big city’ and caught a glimpse of the sea of laid-back shorts, flip-flops and Hawaiian shirts. I immediately lost the jacket, took off my tie, rolled up my sleeves and swapped my loafers for sneakers — when in Rome!”
— Mr. Over-Dressed

Heel Hazards
“We were right in the middle of negotiating a big merger when one of the lawyers stepped out to take a call. We could hear her heels clicking and clanking against the marbled floors as she paced up and down the hall. When she returned, she opened the door and took a misstep, broke her heel and crash-landed on the floor. A few weeks later, her firm amended the dress code to ban heels higher than 2 inches.”
— Clumsy Counselor

Windy Woes
“I bought a fabulous DVF wrap dress that I was dying to wear and convinced myself it would be a pretty yet professional and powerful choice to meet with a Spanish investor. We agreed to meet for breakfast and he was there when I arrived. As I opened the door open, a draft of wind blew my dress enough to expose my panties. I beelined to the bathroom and stayed in there until my blushing subsided.”
— Morning Moon

Family Ties
“I often run into a criminal defense lawyer who has a collection of funky and off-beat ties. One day it might be a Huey, Dewey & Louie cartoon tie, another day it’s Larry, Curly & Moe or Mickey Mouse. One day I asked him what’s with the ties and he said they were all gifts from his kids. His favorite is the Darth Vader tie he wears to his sentencing hearings. It’s good to find someone in court with a sense of humor.”
— Necktie Titan