Belly Buster

Anxious that we all enjoy our occasional indulgences, get the skinny on how to combat that most malicious of alcoholic aftereffects: the beer belly.
Text by Ryan Jarrell | May 9, 2018 | Lifestyle

Eager to provide you with only the freshest vintage of spirit-themed scoops, I, your intrepid, (if occasionally inebriated) editorial explorer boldly set forehead to the finest of our city’s myriad bar tops, intent on uncovering the stealthy summertime trend that was sure to set our city afire. But what new subject was I to explicate? Mocktails, perhaps? I discarded the idea immediately. Who wants to read an article on drinking that never quite gets around to it? Dessert cocktails? At even the thought, I forlornly looked, not down, but over my stomach toward my lap. Journalistic integrity is one thing, but thoroughly investigating that trend might put my chinos in considerable peril. Unfortunately undeniable to anyone with even a hasty history of calorie-counting, anyone who’s ever tried to rein in the lbs knows one thing about liquor: it adds inches. So how do you keep the tubby toll down during a night of responsible debauchery? The first offender to remove from your night time tipple: high-calorie carbonated drinks, whose high-sugar impact can wreak havoc during swimsuit season. Sub out sodas for at least their diet varieties, if not carbonated alternates such as club soda. A dedicated sud-sipper? Unfortunately for the craft-crazed, all those watery, domestics you pou-pou so poutily? They bear some of the lightest caloric loads of any apertif in the ale class. Last, and certainly not least, the best way to trim down while turning up? Drink it straight. Not only will it save you the excess mass, but you’ll look chicly informed while you’re at it!

Mixed & Measured
Heading to the bar but unsure which cocktails are calorie-light? Riding a meteoric rise in recent popularity, the stately and sophisticated Gin Gimlet (2 parts gin, 1 part lime juice, 1 part simple syrup and mint as garnish) averages an impressive 180 calories per pour. Not bad for such a buzz-inducing beverage. Wish to evoke the airs of an international man of mystery? Look no further than a Classic Martini, averaging 175 calories, shaken or stirred. Interested in really tying one on, but wish to be watchful of your intake? Add roughly 100 calories for each extra shot of liquor, but keep clear of flavored varieties. Hangover, who?!