Our homes are our sanctuaries. Ideally, at least. In actuality, a home to the misguided can become little more than a massive money pit. We’ve gathered several investments you might think add resale value to your home, but rarely do.
Text by Ryan Jarrell | May 15, 2018 | Lifestyle

What Pools These Mortals Be
When picturing your Miami dream home, who doesn’t imagine whiling away the hours in a poolside haze, chilled drink in hand, with an almost unsuitably attractive partner slathered in some odd brand of aromatic oil? It turns out a variety of people find this addition undesirable, especially new parents, those short on spare cash for maintenance fees and the litigiously minded. Installing an inground pool can cost anywhere from $30,000 to $100,000 and can rarely increase the resale value of your house by even 7%, at least according to Another factor that can downgrade your aquatic amenity? Lawn space. If you’re going to add a pool, make sure it doesn’t occupy the whole lawn. Few people desire a backyard only navigable via foam noodle.

Money Down The Toilet
While almost every sitcom seems to devote an even 20 minutes of airtime to the snarky older sister obsessed with unadulterated eons of morning bathroom time, a recent study proves yet again that pleasing teenagers is rarely economically responsible. A bathroom addition costs on average $50,000 with a return of roughly 26K. That’s only a 52% return on a pricey investment. Try a soft renovation of your current bathroom’s tile floor, which you could theoretically complete before the weekend’s over.

Two-Story Worries
One thing immediately apparent to me upon moving to South Florida was the seemingly squat nature of many of its homes. And while space is at a premium in this bottom corner of the country, the mammoth costs associated with adding a second story to your home should be enough to dissuade even the most fertile of families. Besides the obvious construction costs, potential project expenses include an increase in insurance, property taxes, landscaping fees, architectural consultation and, of course, housing expenses. Where were you planning to stay when you didn’t have a roof over your head? Hotel fees or the stress of crashing on Tia Tati’s couch for months at a time can offset even the most adventurous of home-improvers.

You’re (Re)Finished Around Here!
We all know the scene. You’re alone. It’s late at night and the windows are drawn. Slowly slipping a sock up your leg, you tell Siri to start the appropriate playlist. Next thing you know, you’re slipping across newly refinished hardwood floors like Tom Cruise in Risky Business. But don’t start blasting that old time rock ‘n’ roll just yet — on average homeowners don’t increase the value of their homes by a single cent after a $2,500 home improvement. Which isn’t to say it isn’t worth it. Few potential purchasers will fall in love with a scratched and scraggly living room floor. Just don’t expect your listing price to jump through the roof.

Top It Off
Alright, you’re probably saying to yourself: “I’ve been patient with this pedantic punnery for too long. When are you going to tell me something that will enhance the value of my home?!” Seems that there’s one singularly unsexy solution to increase your home’s value: Replacing your roof. No one wants to buy a house without a roof, and that goes thrice as true for coastal Miami. The average homeowner saw a return of 105%